Tuesday, May 10, 2011

TOP TEN TIPS FOR SURVIVING INTERSTELLAR WAR

by Tom Topptin - FNF Staff


The universe today can be a scary place. Are YOU ready for war, should it come to you? We here at the Fringe News Feed have compiled our Top Ten Tips for Surviving an Interstellar War so that YOU, our dear readers will be ready for anything that comes at you.

1. Don't Panic - Unless you are currently in a war zone or live very near your local Gate, take some comfort in knowing that the majority of fighting probably won't involve YOU. Running around and screaming, while emotionally satisfying, is probably not helping you and your loved ones.

2. Be Prepared - Have you cleaned your armor lately? Spent some quality time repairing that broken hunting rifle? Now is a great time to get all those chores you've been putting off done. Tidy up the workroom, dig out those clips you've been meaning to fix, and get your house in order so that when the doors get busted down during a house to house raid, the enemy will appreciate how nice the place is, providing you with valuable seconds to escape.

3. Drill Baby Drill - Have you worked out escape routes from your home and place of business? Run "invasion drills" with your family and friends? You haven't? You should maybe consider it. When fleeing from an enemy that can enslave your body via drugs to do their dark bidding, you don't want to try and figure out the best direction to run right there and then. Drill and practice make for flawless execution!

4. It Takes a Village - Organize a meeting with your neighbors and pool your resources. There is safety in numbers and being on good terms with your co-workers and neighbors can be an extra helping hand when you need it. Also, potluck dinners are a great way to both build communities and clear out some leftovers.

5. Need Before Greed - When deciding what to pack into your "trouble" bag, be sure to only bring what you need to survive. Sure, where else are you going to get another set of commemorative Teela O'Malley ceramic dishes at such a good price, but wouldn't you rather have, say, 2 weeks worth of food rations instead? Ceramic doesn't taste good, and doesn't trade well in refugee camps.

6. Don't Get Cocky - Should you find yourself in an occupation situation, remember that you should always be on your guard. Don't think to yourself "Well, they won't come after me. I'm not a mutant/cyborg/soldier/etc...". That doesn't matter. Sure, they didn't come looking for you today, but what about tomorrow? Stay alert, keep your head down, prepare for the worst, pray for the best.

7. Move Along - It can be difficult in these tough times to keep living your life. Don't let fear consume you! Take reasonable precautions (like those outlined in this article), but do not let it ruin your day to day existence. Take in a vid, read the feeds, perhaps attend a local talent show. Remember, if you are constantly huddled in a corner of your house, gibbering to yourself about "them", then the enemy has already won. Of course, when the shooting starts, feel free to run like heck.

8. Cardio - Living a state of constant fear and worry is no way to live, but you can do something about it! Exercise and proper nutrition can keep you alert and ready to move at a moment's notice. As a side bonus, it should help relieve stress and keep you focused on the tasks at hand.. After the trouble passes, you'll be ready for a night on the town too!

9. Know Your Foe - There is a lot of tension in the universe these days, and what you might have to deal with depends greatly on where you are, dear reader. Research the most likely threats to you and yours so you won't be caught off guard!

10. News You Can Use - Turn to trusted information sources to keep abreast of happenings in YOUR area! Stay tuned to the Fringe News Feed and your local feeds for the latest information on the growing Arhamni threat, the looming Imperial Civil War, and other happenings throughout the galaxy!

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