Saturday, June 18, 2011

Grist Town: Sorry Sorrow, Party Time!

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

Sultry Surgeon Sheds Scrubs in Silent Support
The glamorous Dr. Firm recently shed her sensible, yet flattering, scrubs in favor of a sparkling top and short skirt that is bound to have all of the men screaming “Oh baby, take it Eioph!” Dr. Firm (in more ways than one, judging from that top) is known to provide outspoken opposition to the political ongoings of the Middian Imperium. To say she keeps a realistic and dour view of things is akin to saying I like booze in my drinks with umbrella. It’s true, but it doesn’t quite convey the necessity of the situation. However, in the fermentation festooned festivities of Man-O-War’s Drinkathalon, an all together different view of Dr. Firm’s political leanings was presented. Did her attire reveal her political desire? That’s the thought that’s circulating in everyone’s heads. Snarky Firm would have looked more at home amongst the Fringe than in the Imperium, that’s for certain. Her skirt was near indiscernible from the skirts and dresses of several known Fringer fashion icons. The bedazzling blouse screamed rave, not reserved. Of course, we all know the bare thigh being shown was nothing more than mind-control tactics, but, oddly enough, no one seemed to mind. As the evening wore on, she was heard to opine, “Boobies!”, more than proof enough for this reporter that she was full-on Fringe for the evening.

So, is this fashion trend a show of support for the Fringer systems? It seems likely. With the inhibitions sent home for the evening, Dr. Firm let her fun side for a walk, doing more for political relationships than a month of negotiations. She was a good-luck charm for Pie-Fingers, a well known Fringer bartender and former sports star, she was trusted to be the proxy for Wheeler Dealer, a merchant of some reknown, and even took advice from Man-O-War, with nary a sneer in sight. The clothes make the woman, as the saying goes, and it’s clear to this reporter that the woman in question is one that puts on a persona for her god and her Imperium, but wishes she could stand besides those she knows as friends. Expect this to be a trend. Club kids on Akeir have been wearing more and more Fringe attire over the past few years, and now that it is being worn as open support by the nobility it will spread even further. Remember, gentle readers, when you want to make a political statement, nothing speaks louder than short skirts and revealing shirts.

Delphinium "Berries" All Doubters
One Yazata is working hard to make the residents of Gate Town say, “Hickory Who?” While she publicly decries her role in repairing the reputation of her race, Dr. Naughtyberry is, of course, beloved by all and needs no reputation repair, Delphinium has been working diligently. As we previously reported, her hammocks were the initial inroads used to start to gain respect and trust of the community. However, she isn’t stopping there to snooze in her good idea. She has become known as the bearer of a fabled concoction known as “Pink Drink”, and is not only welcome at Middian Mixers, but is desired for her knowledge of mixology. This past party was no different.

Delphinium showed up with the well-connected and respected journalist “Lucky J”, and carrying a tray of meticulously cut strawberries filled with a gelatinous concoction that did not simply whisper “I will inebriate you”, it sang it while dancing about the room in choreographed numbers. Her knowledge of the Altered States of Inebria has become her greatest reference that if she hands you something at a party, it’s going to be phenomenal. She played cards, socialized and, without even trying, had people coming to her, seeking out her knowledge. It might have seemed that they were simply being considerate, as she was involved in a card game, but Delphinium is clever indeed.

It is of little surprise that throughout the course of the evening the phrase, “We should talk to Delphinium about that” was uttered many times. Seemingly without trying she has become an integral part of the plans of Gate Town, and has shed the Yazatas stereotypes that once accompanied her. She has become so well-liked that even Man-O-War gave her a Get Out of Violence Free card, and we all know how much he likes to commit acts of violence! That, if nothing else, is proof of her acceptance into the community.

So what’s next for the saucy scientist? It’s hard to know, but it’s safe to say we can expect good things from the budding technician.

Gossip Scraps
  • The web grows wider. X, a well-known (and much stared after) technician with Quad-Portals, was heard to opine that she really enjoyed the curves of a certain Middian Black Widow. The power of this image alone might be enough to topple those with weak constitutions. Even when she is not in attendance, the gossamer strands are working to ensnare the unsuspecting.
  • “Silver Alloy” was overheard asking if he should collect on the sizable bounties currently being offered. Others, upon hearing this, began wondering the same thing. Remember “Silver Alloy”, if you can’t spot the sucker, it’s you.
  • Nasu utilizing weaponized dolphins? It’s more likely than you think! A Nasu representative seemingly gave away a closely held secret of her home. The sea, from whence the Nasu sprung, also holds psionically potent dolphins. The Nasu developed their psionic potential from working with these Aquatic Arcanists, and work in harmony with them. Let’s just hope, Sorrow Supporters withstanding, that the inevitable army of dolphin mounted space slugs is on our side.
  • Speaking of Nasu, Dr. Naughtyberry was seen dragging away the representative for some amount of time. This was the second Nasu that the good doc has been seen cavorting with.
  • Baron Glow-Gun Gambler doesn’t play cards? The populace might demand he be renamed.
  • Need a date? Be a hacker! When Seven-Less-One arrived to work with the hackers, it became apparent that the party hacker population were primarily lovely ladies. One party-goer was overheard saying he picked the wrong profession. Fellas looking for love might consider the secure arts. It’s a number game boys, get to hacking!
  • A certain silicate playmate has been rumored to have attained the knowledge of the choral arts. People should be wary when asking him to sing them a song.
  • Seeker should be checked by genetic specialists. His evil beard has authorities worried he might be his own evil twin.
  • Lyre might soon be wanted for murder. She was heard to say, "I am trying to decide if I just need to stab everyone."
  • The men of the cloth seemed relaxed at this shindig. The Empire's spiritual leaders were seen cracking smiles and even unbuttoning some of their collars. Could this spell the collapse of the Imperial Faith?
  • Snickersnac is a problem solving specialist. The phrase “Tell Snickersnac about it, that will solve it” was uttered more than once over the course of the evening. If you are looking for a solution, look no further than Snickersnac Solutions, LLC.