Thursday, September 6, 2012

***Breaking News: Stabbington Escapes Avalon Custody***

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

Samatha Stabbington escapes while in Avalon's custody.

Pulpiteer heard to opine, “Well shit”.
It seems that the story of the Black Widow of Middian just won’t stop unfolding. The FNF has found out that Samantha Stabbington is the source behind the tip that lead to her own arrest. From inside accounts, it seems that Samantha Stabbington wanted to be arrested in order to perpetrate a grand theft. Avalon, known protectors and law enforcement for hire, has long been rumored to have a large storeroom in one of their holding facilities that contains all of the contraband and materials seized as evidence. This includes not only a large supply of stims, drugs, weapons, but archeotech and experimental research that was deemed too dangerous to be released back to the public or even private corporations and governments.

The heist occurred in the early hours of 05.09.162, when Avalon represented noticed that one of their premiere web guides, Dante Jones, was missing from his living quarters during a routine bunk inspection. Jones was said to have told his co-workers that he had a hot date lined up for the evening. One Avalon representative who wished to remain anonymous said, “Jones told me he was going to get him a sweet taste of space honey tonight. I seen him hangin’ around that Samantha girl, so I figured she was good to go”. Both Jones and Stabbington are missing, along with a vast, yet undisclosed sum in goods from the Avalon storehouse.

A careful investigation of Stabbington’s whereabouts over the past year have put her in close proximity to a theft at a Nog’s Grog facility, where several valuable grog vintages were stolen, a hushed up disappearance of a nanite-composite Smart Hound (tm) from the Cerberus Consortium, and the disappearance of a ceremonial pair of oversized gold-plated carbotanium scissors used as ribbon cutters by the Sellic Mining Corporation. When raiding a storage unit on Taranis believed to belong to Ms. Stabbington, Avalon, Ltd. found a supply of tight fitting black clothing, glass cutting tools, a state-of-the-art ICE breaker, and a prototype SCD that isn’t yet available to the public.

At a press conference on 06.09.162, Justice Jericho issued the following statement, “We now believe the Samatha Stabbington, alias Geraldine Garroteer, alias Caroline Cutterberg, alias Darcy Drownsmith, is actually the criminal known as the Sable Seductress. We believe she was posing as the Black Widow of Middian in order to be taken to our maximum security holding facility, instead of directly to a center of permanent incarceration. Be warned, this means that not only is the Sable Seductress on the loose, but the Black Widow of Middian is still at large. We are once again looking at our old suspects”.

The individual believed to be the Black Widow of Middian, once briefly believed to be the Sable Seductress herself, could not be reached for comment on this statement.

FNF wishes to encourage everyone to remain safe and secure during these troubled times.

1 comment:

  1. "Routine bunk inspection", heh.

    (Beating Jakoby to it.)