Thursday, April 18, 2013

Grist Town: Your town. Your gate. Your tawdry details.

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

Vajra: For your future, for your children

With it’s gentle rolling waves, brilliant sunsets, enticing seafood, historic seaside villages filled with individualistic characters, and state-of-the-art underwater utopias, Vajra has something to offer everyone. One of the newest and most prosperous regions in the Fringe, it is divided between the historic landside old world, and the new, unique ocean-faring cities, each one unique, but between them telling their own story of this enchanting and beguiling area.

Vajra is, without doubt, one of the most enigmatic regions of the Grind. It offers work and culture in abundance, thanks to the vast investments and dedication of the Kagome Corporation. With the traditionally harsh environments of Vajra, such as storms and giant city destroying aquatic monstrosities, no longer a threat now that the ocean depths have been conquered and tamed, peace and prosperity that are a premium elsewhere in the galaxy are close at hand.

Vajran cuisine, say by many to be the best in the galaxy, has undergone a renaissance thanks to Kagome innovations. With the recent abundance of high-powered explosives, LASER cutting torches, and Plasma Drill Cannons, even the toughest exoskeletons of cryptozoological monstrosities are no more of a challenge to prepare than using a vibrospoon to properly separate lobstrosity butter. Vajran dishes are simplicity itself, using only the most dangerous of ingredients, enhanced by strong destructive tendencies. Whether your taste buds crave the rare Asharkalypse liver found in most areas of the oceans, or the simple Excoriating Sea Leech swarm, drizzled with murderberry oil and rubbed with supra-garlic, you can be assured that dining in the region will be an absolute delight.

Whether you choose to stay in one of the pioneer Kagome haven-cities of Enlightenment, Tradition, or Inspiration, or one of the latest engineering marvels such as Prosperity, you can be guaranteed that Kagome and Vajra is the safest place you can be, either for a vacation or a long term residence.

Web paths to Vajra are available all year. It is well served by the Fringe web guides, as well as many Meurlain. Traveling into Vajra is one of the safest trips you can possibly make. Our paths and nodes are Chill and Shiver free, and do not face any of the hinderance or destruction by the robotic onslaught facing the rest of the galaxy.

Vajra: The future of tomorrow, today!

*This has been a paid advertisement by the Kagome Corporation*

Gossip Scraps

  • Chickens aren’t the only thing that come home to roost, so do Ravens
  • Recent public announcements coming out of Lethe sound very similar to those announcements from Vajra. Is the same PR firm involved with both planets? Is this the start of a corporate hegemony?
  • Record numbers of genetically varied individuals have been seen flocking to Vaitarani, seeking not only high hazard pay, but a chance to roll around in the toxic waste before it is disposed of. Glowing results have been reported.
  • A soul can only be folded in half exactly three times.
  • The Taiowa Chamber of Commerce has voted to change their planetary slogan from Taiowa: Life’s a Beach to Taiowa: Life’s a  Breach
  • Baron Glow-Gun-Gambler has been heard to have acquired yet another glowing gun. When asked about this, he was heard to say, “I have two hands”.
  • Empathic Cyborg has a new outlook on life. After holding a yardsale for his guyliner stockpiles, he was seen entering a tattoo parlor asking about a cybernetic butterfly.
  • Pulpiteer is making his fellow gin-and-gunslingers green with envy. Seen holding a bright green gun in one hand and a tumbler in the other, shouting “Freedom!” before each shot.
  • The Lotus of Middian has recently been approached to headline Middian Weekly’s new “Hot Moms of Middian” summer issue after placing highly in a straw poll.
  • Death by Chocolate is a legitimate concern on Middian. The FTU is now issuing travel warnings about the “dangers of quantum cocoa”.
  • Recently discovered Deadly Dagger wielder heard to opine “it’s not the size that counts”. Wielder of the Glorious Spear of Victorious Victory still recovering from laughing exhaustion.
  • In a public ceremony, Seeker has officially accepted the Imperial position of Lord Chancellor of Sexy Times and Getting Down. College themed vid production skyrockets following rumors of official training and schools for companions.
  • I met her in a fight at a cold dark gate, her soul been possessed by an ancient hate, LOLA. L-O-L-A, LOLA.

1 comment:

  1. It's a trick. DO NOT GO TO VAJRA. Seriously, I was just in the webways near there, and the place is full of Chills. You won't see them unless you sing, and singing gets harder the closer you get. We ran away, and we are pretty tough. STAY AWAY.

    Lethe should be okay, I know the people in charge there, they aren't the Wraith.