Friday, February 4, 2011

GIANT BUGS FOUND ON ECLIPSE!

By TalkFast

As reported previously in this Feed, last year’s tragic accident during recording of an episode of Brennan Brothers Explorer's Adventure Show resulted in the loss of all but two of the show’s octuplet adventure journalists. The beloved vidhosts set out on an expedition to explore underground chambers and the “deeper mysteries” of Eclipse, when an unexpected wave of water scattered the group into the tunnels deep below Gate Town. Brothers Martin and Bobbi were rescued, but two other brothers bodies were found, and four others are presumed dead.

The rescue party sent last summer found little more than abandoned gear and an imager with a few mysterious blurry pictures, but rumors persisted that the Brennans had found something truly astounding. Now, the FNF has the exclusive report on another chapter in this gripping story.

The would-be rescuers navigated treacherous tunnels and fought shadowy carnivorous creatures capable of scaling walls at great speed like spiders, but the most unusual find in the cave was even stranger: A giant pill-bug scuttling among the ruined caverns and steam pipes!

Witnesses say the baffling behemoth bug was over fifteen feet long and armored with seemingly indestructable plates. When threatened it could roll up into a ball and roll like a giant boulder, smashing all in its path! Luckily for the rescue party, famous GateTown pit fighter [name redacted] was along and used her ability to charm creatures to tame the perplexing pillbug, by feeding it mushrooms and singing it to sleep. She then harnessed it like a pony and the adventurers rode the beast to safely excape the flooding caverns.

The Feed has learned that several corporations have an interest in capturing some of these creatures for possible use in industrial labor, petting zoos, or military transport over difficult terrain. “Who knows,” said one Imperial weapons researcher, “The one they saw might have been a runt. These bugs could wind up being thirty feet long. I can just imagine the look on those Aramni soldiers’ faces if we rode with a troop of those badboys.”

2 comments:

  1. **** Do you want to have a better time in the sack??? ENZIO's Special Ointment is for you!!! Contact EnzioCream on Taranis for your bottle today!!! ****

    ReplyDelete
  2. She's a Fringer. On a pill-bug she rides. She's wanted: dead or alive!

    ReplyDelete