Top Ten Reasons to Keep Fighting

by Tom Topptin - FNF Staff

Hello readers. I’m Tom Topptin, Fringe News Feed staffer. My column is usually one of our Top Ten lists of tips to make your lives better. For the past year though, I’ve been traveling the Fringe helping to cover the conflicts throughout our galaxy, first with the Zygani, and then with the current war with the robots.

My fellow sentients, I have seen some terrible things, but I have also seen the best that the universe can offer: Imperial and Fringer working together to dig out survivors of a Zygani raid. Meurlain and Tribesfolk fending off the horrors of the Ways to evacuate civilians from soon to be robot playgrounds. Young people volunteering their bodies, hands, and minds to aid the efforts to rebuild, reload, and resupply. Whole races willing to sacrifice themselves and their homeworld to buy the rest of us time.

The universe is full of all sorts of people: good, bad, and indifferent. These trying times tend to bring out the good in all of us. That in mind, I present to you the Top Ten Reasons to Keep Fighting.

1. Stand By Your Man or Woman or Slug or Plant or... The robots and their drones do NOT care what you look like, or who you call Boss. They only care about grinding your squishy face into the ground with their giant robotic feet...forever. We are all in this war whether we like it or not, so let’s act like grown ups and make this happen.

2. Lock and Load The factories of our worlds churn forth more and more guns, ammunition, armor, blades, and all the other implements of war every day. However, the armies in the field can’t resupply without someone to load them into boxes, lock them on to the transports, and make sure that no warrior dies because his or her weapon didn’t pass basic inspection. We have the technology, we need YOU.

3. Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures This is It. The Big One. The Last Round Up. Final Call at the Station. Seriously, if the universe loses this one, kiss it all goodbye. We can’t stop until it’s over, or we’re over. Ya Dig?

4. Big Damn Heroes Every day, more and more people are waking up to the fact that they can do amazing things if they put their mind to it. Who’s to say you won’t be pushed to your limits, only to discover a deep well of awesome inside yourself? Or if not, at least you can say you helped.

5. A Reason To Come Home When all this is over, it will be time to rebuild and start over...and that means lots of opportunity to reinvent yourself for a new era. Regret being a giant jerk? Help rebuild something and do some good for others. It’ll cure what ails ya.

6. The Clothes Make the Sentient With so many uniforms and other equipment being made, now is the time for all you budding fashionistas to shine! Create a new look to strike fear (or at least confusion) into the soulless metallic hearts of our adversaries. They wouldn't know couture if it hit them in the diodes!

7. Opportunity Knocks Ever felt like you couldn’t make a difference? Well, now you can in a BIG way. Everyone can contribute to this effort to Keep Us From Being Completely Wiped Out Forever, and everyone is needed. You’ll meet new friends, learn useful skills, travel to exotic places (that may or may not exist later) and wreck a bunch of machines that want nothing more than to mix margaritas on your grave. It’s like the Graduate School of Hard Knocks!

8. Cardio In the Grim Darkness of the Present, there is a LOT of running. Always with the running. If you live through this, you may very well be in the best shape of your life. So that’s something to look forward to.

9. Singin’ In The Ways As a morale booster, our brave fighting force has taken up singing during the heat of battle. This has caught on throughout the Universe as people of every culture, race, and profession burst into song at every opportunity. Add your glorious (or at least enthusiastic) voice to the chorus, especially when you are travelling the Web. Song makes the place seem less cold and more warm. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a contract out of it with some big shot producer!

10. News You Can Use Turn to trusted information sources to keep abreast of happenings in YOUR area! Stay tuned to the Fringe News Feed and your local feeds for the latest information on local calls to arms, public announcements, and the situation throughout the galaxy!

My fellow readers, it has been an honor and a privilege to serve you during these trying times. I, for one, am going to do my part to keep the news coming to everyone. I encourage you to do the same. This is Tom Topptin, Fringe News Feed Staff. I bid you good night.

Grist Town: Your town. Your gate. Your tawdry details.

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

Vajra: For your future, for your children

With it’s gentle rolling waves, brilliant sunsets, enticing seafood, historic seaside villages filled with individualistic characters, and state-of-the-art underwater utopias, Vajra has something to offer everyone. One of the newest and most prosperous regions in the Fringe, it is divided between the historic landside old world, and the new, unique ocean-faring cities, each one unique, but between them telling their own story of this enchanting and beguiling area.

Vajra is, without doubt, one of the most enigmatic regions of the Grind. It offers work and culture in abundance, thanks to the vast investments and dedication of the Kagome Corporation. With the traditionally harsh environments of Vajra, such as storms and giant city destroying aquatic monstrosities, no longer a threat now that the ocean depths have been conquered and tamed, peace and prosperity that are a premium elsewhere in the galaxy are close at hand.

Vajran cuisine, say by many to be the best in the galaxy, has undergone a renaissance thanks to Kagome innovations. With the recent abundance of high-powered explosives, LASER cutting torches, and Plasma Drill Cannons, even the toughest exoskeletons of cryptozoological monstrosities are no more of a challenge to prepare than using a vibrospoon to properly separate lobstrosity butter. Vajran dishes are simplicity itself, using only the most dangerous of ingredients, enhanced by strong destructive tendencies. Whether your taste buds crave the rare Asharkalypse liver found in most areas of the oceans, or the simple Excoriating Sea Leech swarm, drizzled with murderberry oil and rubbed with supra-garlic, you can be assured that dining in the region will be an absolute delight.

Whether you choose to stay in one of the pioneer Kagome haven-cities of Enlightenment, Tradition, or Inspiration, or one of the latest engineering marvels such as Prosperity, you can be guaranteed that Kagome and Vajra is the safest place you can be, either for a vacation or a long term residence.

Web paths to Vajra are available all year. It is well served by the Fringe web guides, as well as many Meurlain. Traveling into Vajra is one of the safest trips you can possibly make. Our paths and nodes are Chill and Shiver free, and do not face any of the hinderance or destruction by the robotic onslaught facing the rest of the galaxy.

Vajra: The future of tomorrow, today!

*This has been a paid advertisement by the Kagome Corporation*

Gossip Scraps

• Chickens aren’t the only thing that come home to roost, so do Ravens
• Recent public announcements coming out of Lethe sound very similar to those announcements from Vajra. Is the same PR firm involved with both planets? Is this the start of a corporate hegemony?
• Record numbers of genetically varied individuals have been seen flocking to Vaitarani, seeking not only high hazard pay, but a chance to roll around in the toxic waste before it is disposed of. Glowing results have been reported.
• A soul can only be folded in half exactly three times.
• The Taiowa Chamber of Commerce has voted to change their planetary slogan from Taiowa: Life’s a Beach to Taiowa: Life’s a  Breach
• Baron Glow-Gun-Gambler has been heard to have acquired yet another glowing gun. When asked about this, he was heard to say, “I have two hands”.
• Empathic Cyborg has a new outlook on life. After holding a yardsale for his guyliner stockpiles, he was seen entering a tattoo parlor asking about a cybernetic butterfly.
• Pulpiteer is making his fellow gin-and-gunslingers green with envy. Seen holding a bright green gun in one hand and a tumbler in the other, shouting “Freedom!” before each shot.
• The Lotus of Middian has recently been approached to headline Middian Weekly’s new “Hot Moms of Middian” summer issue after placing highly in a straw poll.
• Death by Chocolate is a legitimate concern on Middian. The FTU is now issuing travel warnings about the “dangers of quantum cocoa”.
• Recently discovered Deadly Dagger wielder heard to opine “it’s not the size that counts”. Wielder of the Glorious Spear of Victorious Victory still recovering from laughing exhaustion.
• In a public ceremony, Seeker has officially accepted the Imperial position of Lord Chancellor of Sexy Times and Getting Down. College themed vid production skyrockets following rumors of official training and schools for companions.
• I met her in a fight at a cold dark gate, her soul been possessed by an ancient hate, LOLA. L-O-L-A, LOLA.

Grist Town: Your gate. Your town. Your tawdry details.

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

FNF Exclusive: Interview with an Empire 

The truth...unmasked!

 It’s a secret to everybody. At least, it was before FNF managed to track down the person we believe to now carry the Light of Eheih within them, and sit him down for an interview. As a disclaimer, we are not stating that this person is definitively male or female, but simply using the masculine tense for this interview as to avoid confusion, as the last person to carry the Light of Eheih inside of them was female and was thus referred to as the Empress.

 FNF: Thanks for sitting down with us today, Emperor. Tell us, what’s with the mask?
 Emperor: …

 That concluded our interview. It was at that point that we remembered that hearing the Voice of Thunder would make our heads explode and our souls bleed.

 Stay tuned in the future for further FNF Exclusives!

 The Gaties: the only award ceremony celebrating the heroes of Gate Town and their Vids

We took these statues from other, evil award ceremonies 

 It’s that time of year once again, when the glamorous hobnob with the beautiful, and are recognized for their outstanding work in the last year. Our eyes are transfixed upon the galactic red carpet as the stars arrive from the Gate and make their way to the awards hall. For a brief moment, we take a stand besides these brave and beautiful heroes of the galaxy, and bask in the light of their wondrous glow.

That’s right, it’s awards season. Sunday night’s ceremony was a huge smash, hosted jointly by the refreshing duo of Pulpiteer and Seeker. Nothing is dull when a lecherous drunk and a smart-mouthed lawyer are given live mics. The traditional play-off-the-stage music normally provided by Tractus Lupus was replaced this year by play-off-the-stage gouts of flame, provided by the Mistress of Fire. The jokes were fast and furious all evening, and here were some of the best lines of the night.

 Seeker: “Tulku Spy, you gave a fantastic performance in Not without my Mystic Electron Microscope. I haven’t seen someone alone and abandoned like that in a situation that didn’t involve Silver Alloy”.

 Pulpiteer: “Terra Cotta is nominated tonight. I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Bark Forty, based on a true story involving cyborg canine commandos, but when it comes to making tough decisions, I trust the guy who decided to go ahead and get married to X after her god set him on fire”.

Seeker: “The Mistress of Fire is providing us the play-off-the-stage gouts of flame this evening, for which we’re thankful. However, going to be passing around a donation box for her soon. What most people don’t know is that pyrokinetics suffer from a lot of debilitating problems as a result of their conditions. Tonight is the fourth time that she has been given a ticket by Orpheon for having an unlicensed firearm.”

Pulpiteer: “Is the good Baron Gambler wearing a Space Robe and Cowboy boots as he talks about the Empress?”

 Enough of the recapping, let’s get to the awards.


Best Romance - Jewel of the Quantum Sea: An Ethereal Love Story, by Snickersnak

Known best for being one of the largest single supporters of the romance novel industry with her enormous expenditures on the literature, newcomer Snickersnak has truly penned a screenplay for the ages. The tale is as old as time, a young man meets the intensified quantum presence of a beautiful warrior from a past age that helps him on his path of self discovery. A few of the particularly steamy scenes involve Jack Musclechest being dissolved into a fine primordial mist as he explodes the ghostly intimates of Serena Randy, and the multiple pairing scene of Jack, Serena, and the being of glowing conscious thought from beyond the cosmos. Truly, Snickersnak is one a course to become one of the most accomplished writers of her, or future generations.

Best Romance Actor without a Shirt - Displays-His-Abs 

 It has been said that there is no sin greater than wearing a shirt. We are not sure who said it, but Displays-His-Abs assures us that it is a saying amongst the Meurlain. This sounds just as likely as anything else we hear about this made up culture, so why not? This was a big year for Displays-His-Abs. His husband, long the primary breadwinner of the household thanks to his S.T.R.I.F.E. winnings, is now the second largest income of the family. Displays-His-Abs appeared in his preferred state on the poster art of Jewel of the Quantum Sea, staring soulfully into his psionic shard, which as we know from the novel resonates with an Intergalactic Love Frequency that attracts Serena Randy in the first place. The poster art was such that the picture was even voted as “Most Likely to Make a Robot’s CPU Overheat” by Mystic Machines Monthly.

Best Performance in a Comedy or Musical - Coffinstuffer in Funeral Trip

As if people weren’t already jealous enough of him for being the partner of the Lotus of Middian, we learned this year that Coffinstuffer is quite the comedian. Long thought of as a man of action and drama, he appeared in one of this year’s surprise delights, Funeral Trip. The story follows a young Kshathran who is convinced by his two crazy friends to become a bounty hunter that fulfills contracts on his own life. Coffinstuffer, known for his penchant for returning from the dead with ease, adopts a strong Imperial Accent and an outrageous fake mustache for his Bounty Hunter Persona, Max Explosion. The three friends quickly become rich, until they run afoul of a Dahhak Crime Lord, Demon Johnnie. The hilarious exploits grossed over 160 billion credits galactically, not taking into account adjusted 5-D inflated ticket prices.

 Best Short Vid - X Marks the Spot, written and directed by X 

The first short vid by that sumptuous sprite X, it was originally planned as a hard biographical look at the rise of King Rama, a known supporter of the FNF and our biggest booster. The first three minutes of the vid is a gritty, tracking shot through the slums of Taranis, which then deftly cuts away to a dance club, a field of butterflies, a naked woman using a dynamite plunger, and then a slow motion bubble blowing scene in an abandoned factory. When asked about this, X started to discuss the discordian life of the average Fringer, but then got up and left to go get ice cream, build a small bomb, and paint a pony.

Best Actor in a Drama - Empathic Cyborg in How Dark is my Guyliner

A gripping tale of a web guide who is unlucky in love, and is burned with a cybernetic module that makes him feel five times as much as the average person. He becomes addicted to the guyliner that he uses, and goes into a self-destructive spiral of pain and suffering. He later finds redemption when he witnesses a train crash in the web ways, and saves the heiress of the Midnight Mascara company. However, even this turn has its challenges. Can his heart compartment ever be given a new artificial muscle so that he may love again? Has his trust module been forever damaged? Empathic Cyborg turns in the performance of a lifetime, though many critics claim that he was “simply playing himself, albeit in a compelling tale”. Other claim that “someone just wrote a program and ran it on his cybernetic interfaces. That’s hardly acting”.

Best Documentary - Arned and Dangerous

The search for Arn is compelling in a way that few stories are. We got a first hand look as famous Middians participated in the hunt. Snickersnak, complete with her strange, chitinous structures and her intimate yet frightening style of attack-sniffing those around her. It has been described several times by viewers as an “assault snuffle”, and it’s hard to say that it is incorrect. We also get to witness Okay, the small, post-Midir, psion as she listens for the sounds of what exactly? Reviewers have called her the “Death Listener”. This seems a little bit morbid, but it sure is catchy. The tale itself is heightened with a bit of scripted drama involving ridiculous time travel that seems to undercut the serious nature of the rest of the documentary, perhaps a bit of commentary on the ephemeral nature of time by the director, but despite this, the critics have adored this work. It seems that the obviously sentimental heartstring tugging that is the climax involving a large fight and the cooperation of the all of the galactic races is forgiven, even though it does seem a bit staged as well. Still, people love a feel good story fraught with action.

 Best Sequel - Slamwich 2: Painnut Blooder 

 Based on the real life exploits of Sharkz0r and Traganasaurus Wrecks, the first Slamwich vid is one of the all-time classics of Fringe cinema. It is the true to life story of the two gladiators who are asked to rescue King Rama’s daughter, who has been kidnapped and taken to space prison of Absalom. The sequel follows the pair as they are charged by a mysterious being to delve into the Quantum Sea and confront the terrorists who are looking to collect the dispersed memories of the once living to power a mind-control ray attached to the space station weapon known as Mentalum. One of the climactic scenes (SPOILER ALERT) revolves around Sharkz0r ramming his cesti into the abdomen of two machine-gun armed synth soldiers and dual wielding them as they spasm and unload their payloads into an incoming Web Tank. Meanwhile, Traganasaurs Wrecks has his weapon knocked down to a nearby ledge and he is forced to wrestle with the gorilla crab mano y crabbo. We are assured that this is based on a true story.

 Highest Gross Vid of the Year: Dirty Doctors 3: Antivenom - in 5D

Originally advertised as Dirty Doctors 3: Antivenom - in 3D + DD (IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!)

Technically a re-release from 161, this did nothing to stop the monster profits of this previous award winning vid. It has been hailed as the most innovative vid of all time, making use of 5D technology, and direct mind control to allow the viewers to believe they actually experienced the vid. Despite the mess this has caused, the job industry for industrial cleaners has since boomed. Honorary galas have been thrown in support of Chance, for his work as a job creator in a time of turmoil.

BREAKING NEWS: Imperial attack on Haven

By FNF Staff

Haven/Vohu:

Forces of the Imperial Grand Army have taken several sectors of Haven/Vohu in a surprise attack early this morning. Light artillery, aircraft, and personnel carriers came through the Gate at 5:00 AM local time, leaving a path of devastation in their wake.

As you may know, Haven is no stranger to conflict. Recent events have placed record numbers of displaced Tribe communities and even Fringer refugees on Haven. They do not seem to be taking this lying down. Fighting has been sporadic but brutal as the invading Imperial forces have cut a path to Adamus, a sector traditionally home to Nasu aid workers.

At this time, no one can claim control of the Gate. The area around the Gate Platform is a warzone, making travel possible but extremely dangerous.

NEWS REVIEW UPDATE

Latest from all sources

By FNF Staff

TRIBE SPACE:

VOHU: Haven has become more stable, with talks beginning on how to form a government. Negotiations are being held to determine how a constitution can be drawn up, so that the humans and tribes on Haven can have a central government. The major former fringe and imperial factions seem to be getting on board, but the tribes seem to be waiting for something. They have insisted that a war crimes commission be formed before they will enter into any major negotiations.

KERET: There are reports that many Aeshma are leaving Keret. They are commissioning every web guide they can. Where they are going is still a closely kept secret. There are reports that any convoys going near Keret are being detained. Witnesses say that the Aeshma are taking any foodstuffs, farming tools, and industrial supplies they come across. Luxury goods and non essentials are being allowed to pass. Notes to the bank on Keret are being issued, but there is no confirmation that the bank has honored any requests for compensation.

ASHA: Webguides report that no connections with Asha remain in the webways. A new Leng has been appointed, and many Dahhak have been emigrating to Vohu. Some have gone to Eclipse, and many of their warriors have joined the Free Peoples Defense Force.

VAIRYA: There has been no word from Vairya in the last few days. Reports are chaotic at best. It is known that there is still a war going on in the webways, but there have been no official statements. It seems that Vairya has been cut off from the rest of the Galaxy.

LETHE: The Yazata have issued a statement. "We have come to realize that the great Doom of our time is upon us. A Doom that has returned, which we thought was long past. All Yazata, be they vine, spore, or weed, agree that all sentient beings must unite. Or we will surely perish. The thinking machines have returned, as the Dreamers were trying to warn us. Through the vision of the Hydra, we have been shown our path. We support the Free Peoples Defense Force, and urge all to do as we have. Before it is too late. It may already be too late."

NEITH: The Nasu report that the situation is grim. The thinking machines have turned towards Vairya, to eliminate the Kshathrans, before turning to eliminate the rest of the Tribes. They urge that all support be given to the Free Peoples Defense Force, and their Imperial allies.

TRITA: Connections can still be made to Trita. However, no one who has traveled there has returned to tell their story. Reports confirm that Trita was occupied by the enemy.

FRINGE SPACE:

TARANIS: By all accounts, the army of the fringe are holding their own. No successful incursions have been reported into Taranis space. New technology has been used to great effect during this new war with the thinking machines. The government admits that there have been some setbacks, but their top men are working on new solutions day and night. Taranis intelligence services report that they have been receiving excellent information from their sources, which leaves them prepared to defend the fringe against this terrifying enemy.

NARAKA: Naraka itself has been captured by the thinking machines. Due to the foresight of Nadia Solarii, the vast majority of it's citizens had already left the planet with the bulk of their industrial supplies. Communities that call themselves 'Narakans in exile' have been set up on other fringe worlds, Haven, and Eclipse. Even now, they are dedicating themselves to the war effort. President Solarii issued a brief statement. "I urge everyone, human and Tribes, to support the Free Peoples Defense Force. If you can build or grow, then send supplies to them. If you have influence with your people, then trumpet their cause to the media. If you can fight, then join with them to prevent our annihilation." Recruitment centers for the FPDF have opened up at all Naraka refugee camps, and many locals are traveling to them to sign up.

VRITRA: The area near Vritra is reported to be more dangerous by the day. We are sad to report that one of our most intrepid reporters has disappeared in the ways near Vritra, along with her entire party. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family of Rittan Ness, of Vaitarani. She devoted her life to bringing the facts to the people. She broke stories of violence on Haven, and was embedded with the Army of the Fringe during the early fighting there. She, her crew, and those who traveled with them will be remembered as champions of the Truth. Tane bless them, and may Nornir guide their way.

VAJRA: Vajra space has been remarkably peaceful, with the fighting that is going on in the nearby webways. Refugees are flocking to Vajra, seeking a safe place in these troubled times. Reports are that refugees are quickly filling the undersea city, and the flood of cheap labor is helping Kagome to finish construction on additional cities. Reporters have not been allowed access to the new city, but a number of refugees have returned to the surface to sing it's praises. Clean, well built, a new home with none of the oppressiveness they might have feared. Where the artisans do not fear censorship. Where scientists and learned men do not fear repression. Where anyone can be great, if they are willing to work for it.

ERLIK: Connections can still be made to Erlik. However, no one who has traveled there has returned to tell their story. Erlik is reported to have fallen to the thinking machines.

VAITARANI: New planetary executive Odg Slitney has changed course on the escalating galactic war. "I have received new information on the threat posed by the thinking machines. We cannot stand aside, while letting others determine the course of galactic history. Our lives, indeed the future of man's freedom in the galaxy is threatened. The truth has been uncovered, and the facts laid bare. We must set aside improvements in social welfare and good works, to ensure that we have a future. The industry of Vaitarani stands with the Free People's Defense Force. We are switching our economy to a war footing, and recruitment centers have already started opening across the planet. I must insist that the new information must remain secret, as it's revelation would threaten the war effort." Reports are that his wife has shown some surprise at this change of course, but supports him, trusting in his renowned business acumen to see Vaitarani through these troubled times.

GYMIR: Contact has been lost with those few souls brave enough to still be living on Gymir. Our prayers go with them in these troubled times.

***Breaking News: Stabbington Escapes Avalon Custody***

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

Samatha Stabbington escapes while in Avalon's custody.

Pulpiteer heard to opine, “Well shit”.
It seems that the story of the Black Widow of Middian just won’t stop unfolding. The FNF has found out that Samantha Stabbington is the source behind the tip that lead to her own arrest. From inside accounts, it seems that Samantha Stabbington wanted to be arrested in order to perpetrate a grand theft. Avalon, known protectors and law enforcement for hire, has long been rumored to have a large storeroom in one of their holding facilities that contains all of the contraband and materials seized as evidence. This includes not only a large supply of stims, drugs, weapons, but archeotech and experimental research that was deemed too dangerous to be released back to the public or even private corporations and governments.

The heist occurred in the early hours of 05.09.162, when Avalon represented noticed that one of their premiere web guides, Dante Jones, was missing from his living quarters during a routine bunk inspection. Jones was said to have told his co-workers that he had a hot date lined up for the evening. One Avalon representative who wished to remain anonymous said, “Jones told me he was going to get him a sweet taste of space honey tonight. I seen him hangin’ around that Samantha girl, so I figured she was good to go”. Both Jones and Stabbington are missing, along with a vast, yet undisclosed sum in goods from the Avalon storehouse.

A careful investigation of Stabbington’s whereabouts over the past year have put her in close proximity to a theft at a Nog’s Grog facility, where several valuable grog vintages were stolen, a hushed up disappearance of a nanite-composite Smart Hound (tm) from the Cerberus Consortium, and the disappearance of a ceremonial pair of oversized gold-plated carbotanium scissors used as ribbon cutters by the Sellic Mining Corporation. When raiding a storage unit on Taranis believed to belong to Ms. Stabbington, Avalon, Ltd. found a supply of tight fitting black clothing, glass cutting tools, a state-of-the-art ICE breaker, and a prototype SCD that isn’t yet available to the public.

At a press conference on 06.09.162, Justice Jericho issued the following statement, “We now believe the Samatha Stabbington, alias Geraldine Garroteer, alias Caroline Cutterberg, alias Darcy Drownsmith, is actually the criminal known as the Sable Seductress. We believe she was posing as the Black Widow of Middian in order to be taken to our maximum security holding facility, instead of directly to a center of permanent incarceration. Be warned, this means that not only is the Sable Seductress on the loose, but the Black Widow of Middian is still at large. We are once again looking at our old suspects”.

The individual believed to be the Black Widow of Middian, once briefly believed to be the Sable Seductress herself, could not be reached for comment on this statement.

FNF wishes to encourage everyone to remain safe and secure during these troubled times.

Grist Town: Your gate. Your town. Your tawdry details.

By TalkLoud, FNF staff gossip columnist

War Front: Gymir

As war grips the galaxy and loss tears at us all, one would never think to look to the battered world of Gymir for hope. Looking at the air, ash mixing with snow, blanketing the world in grey, with only the red accents of blood and flame to break the monotony, it would seem that this first impression is the correct one. The joint forces of Rama’s Red Fist and the Army of the Covenant are taking heavy losses, and even though this union between the Fringe and the Empire is inspiring it itself, reports have had the forces taking heavy losses and struggling to hold on. The greatest industrial might of the Fringe, the Red Fist machines, have proven themselves ineffective against the Great Warbots. That is, until a few days ago. Reports are confused on the matter, but it appears as if a large number of Red Fist machines were reported as missing and unable to be located just after a new shipment arrived on Gymir. Sabotage was suspected, and there were those who even implicated the Army of the Covenant, raising tensions even higher. This changed when but two days ago, the stolen Red Fist machines were believed to be moving towards the front.
The Red Fist machines looked changed, slightly bigger somehow, and were covered in strange paint so that they were no longer Red, but were an almost tribal looking assortment of white, greys and browns. The larger warbots once again strode forward, looking to render the Red Fist machines useless. The Red Fist machines strode on, wading into the fray, ignoring the warbots. The gathered forces cheered, and then gasped as a warbot punched entirely through a Red Fist machine that was battling two other robots. The robot’s arm was covered in fur and blood. The other Red Fist machines then gave tremendous bellows of pain and grief, and all those gathered then knew the truth. The Red Fist machines were no longer machines. They were being worn as battle armor by the mighty Yetis of Gymir, who had risen up to protect their ancient home.
The Yetis, aided by unknown scientists and technicians, have altered the Red Fist machines to fit their unique physiology. Conical electronode amplification modules have been retrofitted into the helmets of the suits, allowing for the already devastating War Shouts of the Yetis to be shaped into concentrated beams of hypersonic destruction. Reports say that the frequency emitted is enough to disorient the smaller war bots, allowing the Yetis to maul them while their defenses are preoccupied. The claws of the Yeti, prized by poachers for their value to technology firms due to the ultraconductivity of the Yeti’s cryokeratin, have been infused with the dense carbotanium plated fibers used in the suits, allowing for massive jolt of energy to come sizzling out of their claws. This, combined with the Yeti’s natural skill to puncture even the thickest armor plating and their already incredible strength, makes the Mecha-Yetis a force to be reckoned with.
King Rama has been unavailable for comment on the matter, but many of King Rama’s forces have been heard to be training with the Yetis. Talks of mounting saddles or chairs to the back of the Mecha-Yetis and outfitting them with shoulder mounted machine guns has been bandied back and forth, according to inside sources. Time will tell if this turns the tide in the battle for Gymir, but one thing is for certain. The battle isn’t over Yeti.

Grassroot Campaign Changing the Season of Yazatas Politics

A paid advertisement by Pollinate the Vote, a Leithe Political Action Committee

Now more than ever, the soil of the change is fertile and ready to be sown. It’s time to germinate the Council of Elders with a new voice. When thinking about who to vote for in this election cycle, we invite you to remember that much like in the bedroom, three ladies are better than one. With killer bodies and killer intellects, the Triumvirate of Technological Triumphs are the choice for our Troubled Times. These ladies have been on the frontlines as the vines of the Enemy slowly spread, seeding terror and reaping the fruit of discord. The Triumvirate are no mere wallflowers. They simply blossom under pressure.

Dr. Frostberry is not only a skilled psion, respected medical physician and a galactic-class researcher,  but she’s also one of the most trusted of all the people of Gate Town, on the planet of Eclipse, when it comes to genetics, investigation of death and protection against virulent planet killing diseases. With a honk frog in one gloved hand and a blaster in the other, Dr. Frostberry fights illness in all of its myriad forms. As the Yazatas say, “The sweetest berry is the berry picked from the vine of knowledge”. Then again fellas, remember that old saying about doctors. They are used to seeing a lot of little pricks. With Dr. Frostberry, there is no need to put out feelers for the right choice. Drink the wine of change, vote Frostberry!
If that wasn’t enough, Dr. Frostberry is accompanied by the luscious lily of learning, Larkspur. A self-made woman, Larkspur is one of the foremost experts in the field of energy and energy research and development on a planet where the tree of genius has taken root. She leafs all the other competition behind her, embarking into fields where only the bravest scientists dare plant their ideas, hoping they bloom into discoveries and breakthroughs. Larkspur is an orchard of innovation, with apples of inspiration, invention and utility falling off of her branches. There is no problem too complex for the brilliance of Larkspur. She’s choloroFILLED with good ideas! Spring into action and support Larkspur and the Triumvirate.
Last but certainly not least is the spiciest of all the Triumvirate, no other than the skilled healer and medical worker known as Rosemary. Some would say that by any other name she would smell as well, but no one would ever forget the skill and care that Rosemary exhibits. While she might appear delicate, her enemies would be smart to watch out for her thorns! She is no defenseless flower. She can survive in the harshest environments and she’s no stranger to having a good time. She’s a woman of the people and keeps the Triumvirate rooted in the needs of Leithe. With Rosemary, there is no need to put out feelers for the right choice. As you can see, she is firm believer in recycling, too. Spring into action and vote Rosemary in this summer of change! Don’t let it fall by the wayside and have to winter more of the same!

This election, vote the choice that makes sense. Vote Frostberry, Larkspur and Rosemary!

It’s time to reap the fruit of change!

Gossip Scraps

• Real estate scam exposed! Wild Card reports that Middian is filled with lovely ladies in skimpy bikinis, fruity drinks and the finest in grog sponsored beach entertainment. What sort of legal mastermind could be profiting from such a scam? Well, it’s not like Middian is exactly filled with criminal lawyers, emphasis on the criminal...
• In an unrelated note, the FNF is looking for the address of one Seeker to deliver a stack of unmarked bills.
• Ernesto’s Emotional Emporium, a subsidiary of Mood Make-Up, a holding of LaSandra’s Life Choices LLC., a child of SpaceCorp, has shot up in after hours trading as a run on black waterproof mascara and eyeliner has been seen on Middian. Ernesto is reported as saying that he assured the buyer, who emptied his supplies, that the make-up would not interact poorly with cybernetics, and that yes, it would fit in any number of the buyer’s pouches and bags quite comfortably.
• The Agent of the Tulku was seen leaving Iron Town with an actual member of the Tulku Council. Well, we suppose that answers that question.
• The Fringe News Feed would to issue an apology to the person formerly known as the Black Widow of Middian. It turns out one Samantha Stabbington, formerly of Taranis, was arrested under multiple murder charges by Avalon in the small colony of Morgan’s Landing on the planet of Middian. A neighbor said, “we should have known something was awry when we found out that Samantha changed her name”. When asked what alias she was under the neighbor responded “Oh no, she changed it TO Stabbington. I guess that should have been a clue in hindsight”.
• The person formerly referred to as the Black Widow of Middian has instead been revealed as the Sable Seductress, who is able to wield her considerable talents to been the will of even the most stalwart soul. She is believed to be responsible for eight intergalatic bank robberies on various planets around the galaxy, including three on the same day in the most lucrative crime spree in recent memory. We here at the FNF would have surely have recognized this sooner had we not fallen under her considerable sphere of influence and had our minds mesmerized, as is her wont. The Sable Seductress is known for becoming friendly with various web guides months before a planned heist, in order to have several getaway routes secured off node. Coincidence? We leave that up to you!
• If you have seen the whereabouts of the memories of Lotus and Coffin Stuffer, please return them at once. They have offered a very large reward for their return, but they have forgotten about this. We can assure it, it’s a big one!
• The Mistress of Fire earned her name once again as she was overheard delivering some wicked burns to an unknown bedridden figure. Even as she stood guard for this person to recover, her fiery tongue was delivering scorching rejoinders.
• It seems that X’s man, Rock Falconson, really lights up her life.
• Snickersnac was seen arguing and growing agitated several times during the trip to Iron Town. Are the claws about to come out? I’d watch out, she means business.
• Lyre was seen stabbing things in the foot quite often this past weekend. When asked about her new technique she replied “Sometimes I forget what I’m doing by the time the spear finishes swinging and start reading a book. I finish more novels in combat, you wouldn’t believe...”
• Displays-His-Abs wore no shirt all weekend. More on this story as it develops.
• The people of Gate Town have begun the domestication of the deadly Narakan Acid Wasp. Smuggled off planet before the robots arrived, the people of Gate Town have taken to sharing their houses with them and training them as best as they can. They have not yet perfected the training, but soon enough foes of Gate Town will be screaming, “Oh Hel NAW!”
• Kills-With-Her-Mind now wants to take your blood into herself. I’d warn against this but I don’t think I’d be able to finish delivering the wa-
• Kills-With-Her-Mind is one of the loveliest people in Gate Town and everyone should give her presents.
• Pulpiteer was seen reminding everyone that in this time of war, Confession helps ease the mind and body.
• The Gate Town Summer Concert Series is in full swing. Singing may now be heard constantly and without cessation. Free of charge!
• In a strange move, the people have declared hunting season to be Open for ravens.
• Dr. Firm is rumored to be once again seeking out the comfort of a certain silicate playmate. Is love once again in the air? We’ve seen Dr. Firm, the answer is yes.
• Silver Alloy has stablized Insane Ideas, LLC. in recent days, restoring some confidence in the enterprise.
• Tibia was seen with a frown on his face for most of the past weekend. What’s up with that boy?